Alert, Alert, Alert!
Our lookouts have signaled. The orange Gordian hoard is on the move! Interlopers have been spotted on several stoops and front yards in regions across the land.
Heimdall has forewarned!
We hereby announce the return of the Arms & Armor Pumpkin Destruction Contest! Arm yourself! Form up your militia! This is the season when the Gourdian Menace threatens front steps and stylishly-rustic, harvest-themed decor in neighborhoods across the country. Even a decent cup of coffee is hard to find. We can not let this stand!
Have you smelt pumpkin spice on the wind? Do you see the take over of homes in your hood? It's time to take action!
In response we have devised a strategy to counter these satisfyingly choppable intruders. It is advisable to organize gatherings to protect your own from the vicious orange vegetation.
Grab an Arms and Armor sword or weapon, lawfully get yourself a pumpkin, and then take a short video of its destruction. (We mean like 15- 20 seconds or so, remember while the judges enjoy mayhem they do have short attention spans, hey come back here you're a judge!) Send us your video on our facebook page or through email at email@example.com (with "Pumpkin Destruction 2023" in the subject line). We will also accept images of art (painting, sculpture, cave art) depicted on paper or photography detailing said destruction of the orange menace. We are especially fond of classic paintings reimagined with pumpkin decimation involved. This allows those artistic but video challenged to participate.
We will choose the three best entries submitted by midnight on All-Hallows-Eve-Eve. That's right, the night before Halloween, i.e. Oct 30th. Those three will be shared on our facebook page and the winners will receive awesome prizes (rumored to be worth tens of dollars, more on this in the following days). Judging will be completely subjective and possibly influenced by the following criteria
Excellence of Technique
Use of Humor
Devastation of Vegetation
As always, Safety Third! Just kidding, NO! really be careful. Pumpkins are slippery little buggers that can deflect a sword blow dangerously, so maintain good weapon discipline. Remember the most dangerous words in the english language are "Hey guys watch this!" You would think no one would need to be told this, but hey look at us.
Any size weapon will work, just remember pumpkins are known as vicious hand to hand combatants.
the amazing 2022 Gordy Award, 2023 may vary drastically :-)
Nathan Clough, Ph.D. is Vice President of Arms and Armor and a member of the governing board of The Oakeshott Institute. He is a historical martial artist and a former university professor of cultural geography. He has given presentations on historical arms at events including Longpoint and Combatcon, and presented scholarly papers at, among others, The International Congress on Medieval Studies.
Craig Johnson is the Production Manager of Arms and Armor and Secretary of The Oakeshott Institute. He has taught and published on the history of arms, armor and western martial arts for over 30 years. He has lectured at several schools and Universities, WMAW, HEMAC, 4W, and ICMS at Kalamazoo. His experiences include iron smelting, jousting, theatrical combat instruction and choreography, historical research, European martial arts and crafting weapons and armor since 1985